I really want to focus on the day to day events of my journey in my diary, but I really need to share something of my background if any of this is going to make sense, so here goes...
I'm 45 years of age and a husband and a father. Around 5 years ago I began to realise that I had really lived a life or meeting the expectations of others and trying to gain their acceptance and approval.
Since that point I've been in a gradual process of deconstructing the house of cards my life had become and starting to work out who I really am.
Over the past 2-3 years feelings I had as a child that I would rather be a girl have returned. My background was rather conventional and I had never appreciated that identifying as any gender, or mix of genders, other than my biological state could be in any way legitimate, so I embraced my role as a boy and got on with life.
My parents were convinced I was going to be a girl, and even told me that I was going to be named Joanne. I now wonder whether they were right all along.
Although I have been feeling a growing preoccupation and desire to express my femininity, it's taken until now for me to dismiss the idea that I am just a fake and give myself permission to seriously question my gender. It feels like Jo is out of the bottle now, and there is no going back.
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